my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize