I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
