Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Someone shit on the floor
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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