But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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