also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
