Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
