I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
a search helicopter?!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
