hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
