Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
