I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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