It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
farters have to be the big spoon...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
