What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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