Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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