Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
