i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
