i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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