2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize