I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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