I smell stomach acid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
