are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
