Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
