we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
