I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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