I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
