NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
