I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
