Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
