he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
