That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
