Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
