Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
