Ambien. No doubt about it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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