I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
