So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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