Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
