: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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