If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
