Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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