Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize