Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
