So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
