im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize