Yo dont text me then not text me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
