i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
