she looked like the before picture.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Green mimosas i think yes
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize