I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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