I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
