I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
