My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
