dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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