I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
