I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
