White coat. Heels.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it glows. i had to have it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
