dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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