i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize