I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The air taste purple.
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